Blogger’s Desk: Explanation Edition

This week, I am back to walking on wordsmith lane. Back to checking out the little stalls of information for aspiring writers, visiting the career paths of those both distinguished and established, and shopping for skills in the central square of my little writer’s street. But to explain my absence?

Firstly, let me say that I was chuffed to receive the odd email and comment enquiring as to my whereabouts, it made my sad and despondent days in bed/in hospital slightly more pleasant knowing that people were waiting to hear more from me and from my writing. I’m truly sorry for having been away for so long, but I did have a reason.

As you all know, I’ve often hammered on about the things on my plate: my writing (and often, lack thereof); the early hours of my media jobs at USYD, saving up for my wedding/mortgage without a regular job, and my thesis. What I have failed to mention was that I have also been suffering from depression this year – something fairly common in Australia (one in three are the stats, apparently) and even more common among young women. In addition to all this, my body has been weakened both physically and mentally as a result of my various stresses and juggling workload (I seem to carry my own problems and the weight of the world on my shoulders), and as a result of a stubborn stomach bug that won’t go away. So it was no wonder then, that a few weeks ago, weakened beyond measure, my body decided to stage a fit and I was taken to the emergency room.

Turns out that my white blood cells (the ones that fight off infection) had almost all disappeared, to the point at which their number was equivalent to someone who had just had chemo. Sitting in the emergency room and shaking like someone having an epileptic fit (I’m told I looked really weird), and spending practically another week in hospital and the rest on bed rest, I realised that I really need to stop juggling, and give myself a break for a while. And in case things were not difficult enough, my grandfather died while I was in there, and I was not allowed to be discharged to go the funeral and farewell a man who not only instilled in me my love of words (he wrote poetry, in Lebanese) but whom I loved and truly idolised. Apparently, closure and the desire to say a proper goodbye are really understated in the medical world.

But this is not the end of my news…before I was taken to hospital, I was offered a job in (religious) education. I’d been looking for something that would allow me to save manically for the wedding and mortgage, but that I would still find personally fulfilling. I didn’t want to experience my soul being sucked out of my body! It was a maternity leave position, so I’d only have it for a year, and I requested one day off per week to write and work on my thesis. I’m really looking forward to it, because it entails making scripture classes accessible to those students wanting to learn religion in public schools. There’s something egalitarian and ‘giving back’ about it, and I hope it all works out well.

Of course this means that I wont be blogging everyday, but I will still be doing it on a regular basis, so continue to check in. There are loads of updates for you to check out in bookshelf, and I have interviews coming up with Aussie journalists Tracey Spicer and Caroline Overington, and a great beauty post on keeping your writing hands gorgeous!

Sure, things have changed a bit, but our dreams are still the same. And as long as we keep our eyes on the prize but walk a little on the relaxation side here and there, we’ll be ok. Yes, it has been a while, but if you pick up your pens and join me, I am more than willing to go the distance to help us write the dreams weve always wanted to write about….